"I Can Quit Anytime"

SUGGESTED ALCOHOL WARNING LABELS

  • Warning!   The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
  • Warning!   The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
  • Warning!   The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
  • Warning!   The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
  • Warning!   The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ___ kicked.
  • Warning!   The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
  • Warning!   The consumption of alcohol may give you, and only you, the impression that every little thought that enters your mind is absolutely brilliant and worth sharing and repeating several times throughout the evening.
  • Warning!   The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
  • Warning!   The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.